Tuesday, February 1, 2011


If you know me then you know I am haunted by an evil spirit I believe to be made partly of wax. He took my knee and ended my time in this man's navy. He continually convinces women that I am hard on the eyes and/or have the air of a rapist. He consistently thwarts my attempts to unveil the Alien Conspiracy. His list of offenses could fill a Mountain Dew Tall Boy!!! But his latest assault is a stratagem conjured from the very helly pits of his depraved Evilness! The wispy fiendish asshole has ... I struggle even to put in my masterful prose .... destroyed my baby! That's right my beautiful Jeep, who has brought harm to no one except the slow, has fallen prey to his fiendish ways.

I awoke Friday morning rejuved by a sweet interstate booty call to discover that my engine exploded! Perhaps, in my horny haste, I pushed my sweetness a little too hard for the 13hr. drive, but this is unlikely. What is far more probable is that my Grand Nemesis, the waxy ghost, made his move while I was indisposed in the throws of righteous lovemaking.

I must, for now, take solace in some Dew and Hot Fries. There used to be a code to combat, but the ghost has crossed even that line of decency. It is a low spot, I'll admit, but the The Mlyno is not out for the count.